November 29, 2007 question

According to extensive research, scientists don’t know whether lightning rods increase or decrease the likelihood of lightning striking. One theory (the dissipation theory) is that lightning rods create a path for a more gradual transfer of electricity, thereby decreasing the chances of a sudden burst of lightning. The other theory (the diversion theory) suggests that the lightning rod is more likely to be struck because the air surrounding it becomes ionized, and the lightning rod’s main protective effect is that it is a safely grounded target for bolts.

But scientists have a tough time testing lightning, because, as one expert put it, “that’s a lot of energy to be messing around with in a lab, dude. You could, like, die.”

It’s funny, real scientists experiment on their theories before coming to conclusions. Something as powerful as lightning is really tough to predict, measure, test, and/or recreate. So the scientists studying it admit there’s a lot they don’t know. If you can’t prove it, you don’t know it. Meanwhile, the fake, evil, lying, rat-faced, belligerent, egotistical porkheads who study geology and fossils think they can accurately reconstruct the history of the universe based on dried up pigeon poop, catastrophically destroyed bones, telescopes, and ashes. Go figure.

Okay, here’s today’s question:

What do the initials UPC stand for (you know, the barcode thing)?

*I’ll give Paul K (the K stands for Knows His 1.21 Jigowatts From His Flux Capacitors) credit because his guess was in the neither more nor less category.

**The second quote was from Willow.

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