May 20, 2008 question

Once again, parliamentary knowledge proves to be a tough topic for this crowd, and once again Charles benefits from your collective powers of underestimation. Sixteen members of Parliament-Funkadelic were inducted together into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. The funktastic group has actually included well over 100 different musicians as members over the years.

Oh, and sorry to make you wait for trivia. I was busy jamming with George Clinton. Here’s today’s question packed with just that much musical integrity:

What band was the subject of the inaugural episode of Behind the Music?

Cream Substitute

I did just a bit of Internet prowling to get to the bottom of the FFH&H issue, and I found that I am no longer as troubled by the ingredients of the make-believe coffee potion as I am the reasoning behind it. It’s not really half & half. It’s a substitute for half & half. Same consistency. Same taste. Different stuff.

Okay, fine, whatever. But why call it FFH&H if it’s no halves are involved? Why not just call it creamer?

I’m sure the answer is that you can supposedly cook with FFH&H, and nobody would ever attempt to use fat free creamer in a recipe. It’s just kinda weird, because nobody really calls half & half by it’s real name. We call it cream. But H&H is anywhere from 10 to 18% fat. Cream cream can have as much as 30% fat. So the fact that H&H would want to swing the other way when it’s so often mistaken for its chubbier counterpart is completely mystifying. Decide who you want to be, H&H. Break away from your ana complex and embrace your true identity.

And suddenly I’m tempted to put Prince and the NPG in my playlist, but it ain’t happening.

Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3

I have to admit, the technical side of blogging scares the nasty out of me. I can’t tell my enclosure links from my MIME Types. So I have no idea if what I’m attempting to do will work. (Nope! Oh well.)

I also have no idea how in the world a grocery store can in good conscience sell a product called fat free half & half. I get the whole fat free creamer idea. But how is it possible to make fat free half & half? It’s supposed to be half cream, half milk. Now sure, the milk can be skim . . . but how can you arrive at fat free cream? It’s . . . cream! That’s supposed to be all kinds of fat.

This is not me being difficult. This is me being completely stumped. I stared at the carton in the refrigerator section of my local grocery store last night with mouth agape. Fat. Free. Half. &. Half. This is impossible. It’s like fat free bacon. Or fat free grease. Or fat free . . . fat. I don’t even want to think what’s in the other half posing as cream. And yet I am. I can think of little else.

Agh.

May 15, 2008 question

Barack Obama apologized for calling a television news reporter, “Sweetie.” Sam Donaldson refused to accept the apology.

Seriously, did I just make myself part of the media conspiracy to elect Obama by putting the focus on his apology rather than the slight for which he apologized? Would I be considered more impartial if I told Barack Obaby that it’s too late to apologize (it’s too late, yeah)? Or is the apology focus just a backhanded attempt to feign an unbiased perspective while subversively drawing attention to Obama’s old-school lingo? I just don’t know. I can’t even trust myself.

What I do know is that Steve T (the T stands for Tails You Lose) and Trevor correctly guessed that a coin flipped with a good amount of spin and caught in the hand is more likely to land with the same side facing up that was showing before the flip. And now it’s time for some Thursday trivia:

How many members of the British Parliament (House of Commons) are there?

Stand by Those Beautiful Girls

Ben E. King, “Stand by Me”
Sean Kingston, “Beautiful Girls”

David Archuleta exposed this one for me, although my brother has apparently been offended by this ripoff transgression for quite some time. My brother’s right. This ripoff is so egregious, someone should be punished . . . I recommend Archuleta, just because. Sampling is common, and I have no problem with it. But this isn’t the sampling of a hook in the song. Kingston just recorded his song directly over the musical track of King’s song. It’s the musical equivalent of eating an entire 5-gallon bucket of Baskin Robbins with one of those little pink spoons. Heck, you could sing “Beautiful Girls” at a Karaoke Bar just by asking for “Stand by Me.” This is the worst ripoff since Vanilla Ice denied any link to “Under Pressure” . . . I’m just ashamed it took me so long to notice it.