Bildad, you’re up!
Okay, Job, here it is: if your sons sinned, they simply got what was com . . .
Hold it, hold it. Bil. Daddio. Why did you open your mouth, compadre? Bildad’s speech in Job chapter 8 gets me a little irritated, mainly because his brand of advice is not unpopular today. If there’s something wrong with you, you must have done something wrong to cause it. And if you would simply return to a right place with God, He would fix everything. Your livelihood escaped you because you forgot God, like the short-lived green season of quickly wilting rushes rooted in unsure soil. (Super mega bonus points if you can identify the mystery MP3 at the top of the playlist and weave the lyrics into the meaning of this passage.) Buck up, if you’re right with God, you’ll be back to your laughing-happy self in no time.
Ugh. I hope to not ever talk about God like I’ve figured Him out. There are things I know for certain about Him, but not to the point that I can manipulate His nature to produce my desired ends. Bildad, you insolent slut.