It’s a bizarre little economic triangle the Cubs are in right now, no? You’ve got Sam Zell, the owner of the Cubs and the Tribune Company; the latter filed for bankruptcy protection in December while the former was excluded in hopes the billion-dollar sale would not be compromised. Apparently when you file for bankruptcy protection, it helps not to have too many easily liquidated assets sitting around.
And not the big Venezuelan kind that beats up Gatorade
The sleep thing last night? Not so much. So the shoe is on the other foot. And you’re the other foot. And the shoe is . . . well, only vaguely defined. Today, you’re gonna annoy bore force to scroll through the ramblings or just plain skip the question altogether entertain me.
What is racketeering? The answer that is most entertaining (and more or less correct) wins.
And the people who knew it
When in Rome, Zeus is Jupiter. Here’s who knew:
Heather M (the M stands for Mars; More Candy Bars)
Nancy K (the K stands for Kit Kats On Pluto . . . Try Telling Those Chocolate-Covered Crispy Wafers It Ain’t A Planet)
I’m overwhelmed by your intellect (although, on one hour of sleep, pretty much everything’s overwhelming, so don’t get all swept away or anything). Congrats.
The Cubs’ offensive woes are well documented, and at this point I don’t know if hitting the ball is really their thing. But that’s no reason to hang your head. The Cubs can succeed in any number of other areas, and you can too!
And the Cubs’ Mt. Rushmore of Volcanic Personality
(also appears here)
And now it’s time to reflect on the simmering stew of tempers now residing in Wrigleyville and just how tasty it really is. If you filter through the extreme snobbery of moderation sermons being preached all across the Chicago and sporting airwaves this morning, you might actually notice that everything about yesterday’s Mt. Zambrano eruption is hilarious.
There was Lou, unable to suppress the giggles during his post-game press conference.
There was Milton, also chuckling, and approving of the impressive nature of the explosion, adding, “It was on a Bradley level.”
And of course, there was Carlos himself, pointing, gesticulating, ump tossing, incidental bumping, ball hurling, Gatorade bashing, and pitching-coach endangering. Yes, he’ll be suspended. So what? The fresher he’ll be in September and October. His tirade didn’t hurt the Cubs. It helped humanity.
Maybe I should be sorry for enjoying a fit of childish rage, but I’m not at all. I love the fact that the Cubs now have three of the most volatile characters in baseball on their squad, ready to combust at any moment.
Cub baseball just became fun to watch again.
Who is Zeus’s counterpart in Roman mythology?
And the people who knew it
Technically, the easternmost province in Canada is Newfoundland and Labrador, but we had no Lab lovers. So I’ll give credit to the Newfoundland-only crowd:
Karen H (the H stands for Halifactually Correct)
Good job, eh?
All of you who had “Jake Fox’s Bat Cooling Off” in yesterday’s pool lost miserably. No, Lou didn’t have one of his sweet explosions, but big Z picked up the slack. Pretty much the whole world has now overreacted to Carlos Zambrano’s overreaction to the disputed out call in Wednesday’s victory over the Pirates (it’s just a big globe full of hypocrites, no?).
The Chicago Cubs are reportedly recalling Jake Fox and his uber-bat from AAA, where he’s hitting somewhere in the neighborhood of infinity with a google homers and 100% of his team’s RBI’s. (They also brought up SS Andres Blanco and LHP Jason Waddell.)
- Jake Fox has a chance to prove he’s not just a AAA legend.
- Aaron Miles will take a break from sullying the Cub lineup card, as he’s being placed on the 15-day DL with a bad swing and a partially strained statistical projection.
- Neal Cotts is being sent down to the minors where he is rumored to be trade bait for a Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast and a Bob Walk rookie card.
- Bobby Scales, the exciting spark plug and fan favorite substitute teacher, has been sent down to AAA as well. It’s sad to see him go, but his recent bout with the flu probably saddled him with more sick days than he could afford.
The Cubs didn’t just trade away their most beloved utility man and clubhouse leader when they dealt Mark DeRosa to the Tribe; they gave away their resident blogger as well. And while Reed Johnson is strictly an outfielder, he’s taken over those last two spots for the Cubs quite nicely.
Just days after accusing umpires of retaliating against him for imperceptible umpire bumping, Milton Bradley called attention to yet another conspiracy against his oft misunderstood self: the baseballs are out to get him.
Memorial Day to Forget
For the Cubs anyway
Maybe the true meaning of Memorial Day has nothing to do with baseball, but they’re both very American institutions, so it’s hard to separate my feelings, especially when the two intersect. So regardless of how enjoyable most of the day was, I just can’t set aside my disdain for the way the day ended: with miserable Cubs baseball.
I know, right? The Reds wear red hats. The Cardinals wear red hats. Sophia Loren has been known to wear a giant red hat, but that doesn’ t excuse everybody in baseball being forced to don the crimson caps of doom.
The forces of good must unite to ensure this never happens again.
What is the easternmost province in Canada?
And the people who knew it
Chowder comes from the French chaudière, a kettle or pot . . . B. Even though they knew, these people are far from being chowder heads: Steve J (the J stands for Jambalaya), Steve T (the T stands for Tomato Basil), Micaela, and Elena. Y’all are souper duper geniuses.
Yesterday Heather, Addison, and I were playing Cubs Monopoly and flipping between a repeat of last year’s Scripps National Spelling Bee and Empire Strikes Back . . . pretty awesome, all the way around. But what kept us coming back to this year-old spell-off was the adorable and unintentionally hilarious eventual winner, Sameer Mishra.