I did a Top Ten Positives list to try to fool myself into happiness. Here’s reality’s wake-up call:
Top Ten Things I Hate About Cubs West Coast Trips
10. The Cubs lose when they go to the West Coast.
9. Reminds me of Steve Garvey.
8. Limericks about Orel Hershiser don’t fit in one Tweet.
7. The worst migraine I ever had (which included temporary local paralysis) was induced by staying up to watch a Dodger game.
6. The pain of a midnight loss is still fresh in the morning.
5. The Cubs stink out West.
3. Dogs that roam the field before games leave behind metaphors of Cubdom.
2. West Coast trips are like those sitcom episodes where the whole family goes to some exotic place and something awful happens and by the end of the two-parter, everyone’s just glad to make it home alive.
1. I’m just so tired of losing.