2010 Random Season Wrap Up

I haven’t done an end-of-season report card or award ceremony for 2010 yet because the season has been over for four months now. I’ve pretty much missed my chance.

Tom Ricketts is too nice.

The next tradition at Wrigley Field will be Todd Ricketts streaking across the outfield after the bottom of the fifth.

The next person to run a trade idea by me gets sent trough surfing.

Things might look bleak now, but in the next few years you’re gonna like a lot of the new kids.

Last year, almost every move Hendry made backfired, and the Cubs had a winning season. This year, everything Jim Hendry touched (not named John Grabow) turned to gold, and the team sucked.

I have no idea if Jim Hendry actually touched John Grabow. Although it would explain why Grabow seemed so out of sorts this year.

Paying $60 to sit in the bleachers is like tipping the maître d’ to let you wait longer.

Great pitching is the secret to winning in the postseason. Also good defense. And guys who hit well. And a decent manager. Luck, too. Oh, and the fans. Can’t forget the fans.

And intensity.

Sometimes it’s fun just to argue.

Carlos Zambrano should win comeback player of the year even though he has been here for years.

The next Cubs manager will be . . . disappointed before too long.

It’s stupid to start a baseball game anywhere between 4:00 and 6:00 local time.

Baseball seems intent on simultaneously proving that they need to institute replay and that they will ignore that need like a steroid problem.

There were not enough highlights of the 2010 season to make a top ten list.

I could care less about the Chicago Cubs right now. I care about the White Sox less. I care about the Rockies less. I care about the political currents of Auckland, New Zealand less. If I cared about the Cubs as much as I care about those things, it would be less than the current state of caring. I could do it if I tried.

Most baseball fans don’t want to have their opinions on talent critiqued by statisticians anymore than soap-opera fans want their favorite characters analyzed by psychologists.

Baseball needs to add another wildcard team like the Emmys need to add a category for Best New Show on The CW.

I really didn’t think I’d be able to come up with this many things.

How is comeuppance even a word?

Obligatory Brett Favre Chilean miner joke.

Unless you’re holding out hope that the Cubs will win a World Series at some point between now and next October, it’s time to admit that the wait between titles is already 103 years.

Baseball is a metaphor for life. It is not life itself. People who can’t make the distinction are metaphors for failure.

I could really use a strawberry lemonade Slurpee.

Happy Bartman Day.

October 4, 2010 question: Trivia on Strike

The frosting’s on the punkin muffins, too.

The Cubs’ season is over. The Bears’ fantasy is over. And the frigid part of fall season is officially upon us. The frost is on the punkin, people. It’s time for spices and Cool Whip and sweatshirts and early-morning ankle sensitivity. The leaves, they are a changin’.

Today’s Question
Sports
Which is farther: the distance from the foul line to the head pin in bowling or the distance from the pitcher’s plate to home plate in baseball?

Previous Question
And the people who knew it
The movie in question with the earth-saving humpback whales was Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Here’s who knew, more or less: Micaela, Laurie, Kyle, Paul C (the C stands for Contact), Steve J (the J stands for James Tiberius), John H (the H stands for Holla back, Spock!), Karen M (the M stands for Monday needs a whale named after it, too), and Heather M (the M stands for Maybe the Fail Whale could be Monday’s sea mammal). Congrats to all of you, condolences to the rest of you, and kudos to three of you. You know who you are.