Top Ten Things I’ll Have To Do Now That I Have a Job

I start a new job tomorrow. This will force me to do certain things I may or may not have previously done for the past three years. Crap.*

10. Shower almost every day.

9. Dust off all my business casual clothes.**

8. Buy gasoline.

7. Talk to people. Out loud. In person.

6. Set the #*#&$*$ #@)((E**$ alarm clock every @(#*@#$*$(#Q(() @&#^#&@@ day.

5. Stop breaking out into song at the top of my lungs at random intervals.

4. Pack a lunch. Probably the same thing. Every day. Forever.

3. Learn people’s names without using the twitter autocomplete feature.

2. Remember that in person people can actually see my eye rolls and hear when I mumble profanities under my breath.

1. Work and stuff.

*That’s not on the list, it’s just an interjection. I actually do that multiple times a day. Sometimes thrice before breakfast.

**I don’t mean that as an idiom. I will literally have to remove the dust that has accumulated on my clothes. Not kidding.

One Reply to “Top Ten Things I’ll Have To Do Now That I Have a Job”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.