10. Your lips are golden brown.
9. Every time you hear Barry White you crave Pop-Tarts.
8. You die in the bathtub.
7. When people use your microwave, you say, “It’s cool, I swear, we’re just friends.”
6. You found this post on google.
5. Cleaning the crumb tray takes all weekend.
4. You daydream about being an Eggo waffle.
3. Your facebook relationship status: “It’s really, really, really complicated.”
2. Making coffee is just . . . awkward.
1. You’re constantly telling people who see you with a butter knife that it’s not what it looks like.