Tonight I made too much popcorn. Well, I made more than what I usually make. What I usually make is one bag of microwave popcorn, which is as exact and consistent an amount as a maker of popcorn could ever expect. But a month or two ago, Heather bought a bag of popcorn. Not microwave popcorn, a bag of popcorn kernels. The kind you can pop in an air popper or, in our case on the stove. Old school. With old school inconsistencies.
So tonight I made too much. But after eating too much, I realized I was plenty happy to have eaten the amount that I did. The ridiculous amount that I ate, yes. It was just fine.
And that got me to thinking: what are the foods that I just can’t get enough of. It’s not everything I find appetizing. Pizza? Deep dish pizza? You’ve gotta put the brakes on after two pizzas, four at the max. Otherwise you’re looking at an unforgiving blockage, either arterial or intestinal. Too many Sweet Tarts will brand a canker sore into your tongue. But these foods? I eat them until they run out.
Salty. Tasty. Perfectly contoured to the shape of the tongue. I honestly have no idea why the canisters come with a resealable plastic lid because there’s no reason to stop eating them.
There’s just never enough ice cream. The only reason to put down the spoon is for rationing purposes. Running out of ice cream is like running out of oxygen. You just don’t let that happen.
It’s the perfect fruit. None of the acidity to turn your mouth into a burn victim. Subtle, satisfying taste. Easy on the teeth, loaded with nutrients. Only problem is that it doesn’t last forever.
Coca-Cola Classic is corrosive. It is sugary. It is as close to instant fat as you can find. But it’s so delicious. It burns in all the right ways. I could drink it all day. I would die pretty quick, but I could do it.
Everyone who ever said, “I ate too many brownies,” was lying. Just stop.
Chocolate chip. Snickerdoodle. Girl Scout. Why on earth do any of these ever go uneaten?
The problem with pie is that there’s never enough. You’re lucky if you can ever find two slices you don’t have to share. Pie-eating contests are the obvious exception, but I’ve never been so excepted.
Any Breakfast Food
Within reason, here. Not corn-beefed hash or beef-chip gravy or Eggs Benedict. I don’t want any of that stuff for breakfast. Cinnamon rolls, pancakes, French toast, omelets, bacon. That stuff. Breakfast served all day? Yeah. I could deal with that.
I could go on. That’s kind of the point. But I should probably stop. If I left out anything, please let me know. I’ve got a lot of eating to do.