As fantasies go, fantasy football is really rather short on unicorns.
The funniest four words ever spoken on film came from the lips of Andre the Giant.
And yes, I do want a peanut.
No, I don’t dream of large women.
The title of this post means nothing.
But I am rather fond of the Oxford comma.
People in glass houses should have hired a better Realtor.
I’ve never smoked anything. If I were to take it up, I’d start with a brisket.
I don’t drink alcohol. If I were to take it up, I’d start with vanilla.
I swear, if anybody gets all of these references, we are so friends.
Frank McCort’s Teacher Man is a great book with one lesson I always try to remember: let people be. You can love people without trying to fix them.
When I overedit a sentence, I usually leave a typo behind.
The surest way to avoid misplacing your smartphone is to be veraciously addicted to it.
I really kinda hate the word marketing.
The more people I meet, the more people I care about, and the more people I care about, the more I realize I just can’t care about everybody, and the more I realize I just can’t care about everybody, the more I feel broken.
Because run-on ain’t nothing but a number. Yes, I know, it’s not even a number.
When it comes to true friends, Doc Holliday and I have much in common.
Is this long enough to be a post? I’m running out of random stuff.
Okay, honestly, I’m just running out of time. I don’t ever run out of random stuff.
Dobby the house elf made the redemptive transformation from annoying character to painfully endearing hero that no amount of technological wizardry could ever help Jar Jar Binks to duplicate.
Someone, somewhere along the way should have stopped that Mission Accomplished banner from being printed.
There’s no reason not to eat ice cream every day. None.
Okay, that’s it. Go home.