When your nose gets all plugged up on account of that cold that just won’t go away . . . like that annoying sort-of friend down the street growing up . . . or, you know, responsibilities, your ability to smell reaches desperately low levels. I’m talking Mariah Carey in Glitter levels. But it’s not completely gone. You can still smell some things. Garlic. Ammonia. Farts. Even brownies. You can smell brownies with a cold, though the taste isn’t quite as supremely glorious as it is in a fully decongested state.
But some things you just don’t smell with a cold. Some of them are not missed. And no, this is not completely random. I do have the sniffles.
1. Caramel. Ugh. And yes, people without colds can smell caramel. Go run and find some. It smells good.
2. Popcorn. Unless it’s burnt popcorn. Then you can definitely smell it. Triple Ugh.
3. Lilacs. Although that may be because I just don’t have any lilacs around.
4. Pepper. And it doesn’t make you sneeze. The cold makes you sneeze. And the sneeze makes the pepper pretty much unusable.
5. Your own breath. It’s debatable if one can smell ones own breath anyway, but with a cold it just ain’t happening.
6. Snow. And no, you can’t really smell snow without a cold. But there it is, all falling on my stuffed up nose, and it’s not helping.
7. What the Rock is cooking.
8. Honey. The first time I ever tried honey (on Chicken McNuggets, FYI) I could neither smell it nor taste it. I spent the next ten years having no clue whether I liked honey or not.
9. Cool Ranch Doritos. This one depends on the severity of the cold, but if you’re so stuffed up that you can’t smell Cool Ranch Doritos, be sure to grab a mint in light of number 5 and the fact that not everyone has a cold.
10. Gravy. It’s true. And it’s tragic.