10. No annoying autostart playlist spouting random tunes at you unbidden.
Addison is 3 now. The big three oh . . . minus the oh. So a drum set seemed like the standard thing to mark his passage from the terrible-two phase and into the throwdown-three stage. What he lacks in rhthym, he makes up for in volume and ingenuity. The drum makers had a specific method in mind when they designed this contraption, but Addison thinks outside the box. Drumsticks are for hitting the bass drum. Fists are for cymbals. Forehead hits another drum, and teeth make a sound on the fake chrome that is absolutely inimitable by any other means.
Don’t worry for us. He doesn’t play it that much. He wants to expand the band. He’s asking for a saxophone. Or a trumpet. Or a tuba. He suggested we get Mommy all of these for her birthday. We settled on the new John Mayer CD, from which I recommend “Gravity,” track 4 and “Dreaming with a Broken Heart,” track something else.
Here’s what we know so far: forced entry was attempted at 10:34 a.m. on 8/8/2006 by a 3-foot-tall, Caucasian male weighing between 25 and 30 pounds. This still from a surveillance video shows the perp right before fleeing the scene. Witnesses allege that he had stacked a wooden chair on top of a bathroom stool, climbed the haphazardly fashioned ladder, and attempted to enter the roof of the pop-up fire engine. The plan failed as the chair toppled from the stool, which Crime Scene Investigators believe bears the name of the suspect. A few crumbs of Cookie Crisp were the only physical evidence found at the scene. No injuries were reported, although the fire engine was impounded pending further investigation and prosecution.
That’s who the face recognition program at MyHeritage.com says we look like.
You’ve gotta try out this site. You upload images of you (or whomever you want), and it compares your photo to a database of celebrities. It said Heather also looked like Brittany Murphy, Carrie Anne Moss, and Sylvia Plath. Addison looked like a bunch of women, including Beyonce, Rachel Leigh Cook, and Reese Witherspoon. I match up with Dominic Monoghan, Brendan Fraser, J. K. Rowling, and Carson Daly.
A tale of two haircuts. Okay, this is actually an update that yes, Addison and I both had our hair cut. No, I didn’t cut his, and yes, I did cut mine. Who cares? I don’t know. I suppose you are wondering why I’ve bothered to steal those precious seconds of your life away.
This is a post of firsts. This is the first picture of Addison with his new do. The second picture is the first picture of just the three of us that we’ve taken in a long time. It also marks the first time we got the timer on our camera to work right.
But I also wanted to update you on the fact that anyone can post comments on here now. Some of you had tried and were frustrated by the process. You don’t have to be a member. But I will warn you that it’s common for “anonymous” postings to be placed on here which include links to annoying sites. So if you see a comment from Anonymous that says, “Awesome guys. That site is so great. That’s so informative. Thank you,” do not trust that comment and do not follow the link. It should tip you off that the person didn’t say their name. It should then tip you off even further that the person thinks this site is awesome. The dead giveaway, of course, is that the link is to some free ringtones and pharmeceutical site.
Problem was, bedtime was only an hour away, and those juice boxes would have sent them bouncing off the walls and us cleaning up the pee pee. So we said, “No.” That was good enough for the two blondes, Sydney and Aubrey Jones, who backed off pretty easy.
This marks the first change in direction for the house, which had been sinking steadily for the past 30 years or so. It would have been fixed a long time ago, except that Robbie really stinks at Jedi art. He kept telling us he could do it, but the Force is so not with him it’s not even funny. The only Jedi mind trick I’ve ever seen him do was when he convinced Lydia to marry him . . . which was a really good trick by the way.
Anyway, Bobcat isn’t just the name Robbie wants us to call him now, it’s also a fixture on our lawn. Oh what fun it is to ride on a machine that can rip out a tree without even blinking. Not that machines blink, it’s just really late.
So, the last picture is of our niece, Cordelia, lifting the house on her own. She doesn’t seem that strong, but she just propped the entire house on her left shoulder and started chugging along. For all I know, she could have brought the whole thing back to NY with her.