This is Addison at the Lincoln Park Zoo, where he had a fantastic time with his aunt Jocelyn. This blog has nothing to do with Addison, the zoo, or Jocelyn, but it seemed like a good picture to start with.
So I was thinking about allergies today, why they exist. An allergy is just your body being paranoid. Something harmless enters your body and then your body overreacts, freaks out, and starts puffing, clogging, and leaking. That got me to thinking . . . maybe paranoia is just a social allergy.
Physically, I’m allergic to cats and various other pet hair. Socially, I’m allergic to large crowds of strangers, discussions about skin infections, phone calls, and outspoken people. In all of those situations, I experience difficulty breathing, fatigue . . . sometimes itchy, watery eyes.
I don’t know about cats, but most pets are harmless. I should certainly be able to deal with crowds, let’s-talk-about-my-fungus people, the phone, and know-it-alls. But I still find myself being overcome with needless anxiety over these things. Maybe I can’t help it. Maybe it’s just a physiological reaction. Maybe I could take a pill that would make me slightly drowsy but less troubled. Maybe I think too much. Maybe I could delete that last maybe. Probably.
Yes. You are as depraved as they come!
Thanks for playing.
This is a short video I did for work. The artistic vision was inspired by the graphic novels of a budding musician, RTK. He published a series of underground satirical comic journalism entitled Raul the Psychotic Clerk.
The story, however, came out of a conversation between my pregnant wife and me. I was trying to compare what it’s like to try and get a writing project done, so I decided to use a metaphor to which she could relate quite easily. This is what I came up with.
It pales in comparison to the glory of RTK’s RPC series, but it was the best I could do in a short amount of time.
Oh, and the music is an awesome Chicago guitar player/violin plucker/whistler named Andrew Bird.
10. No annoying autostart playlist spouting random tunes at you unbidden.
9 & 8.
7. Who doesn’t love email?
6. There’s no way you remember the Web address. I don’t even remember the address.
5. RSS makes you think of the Janet Jackson song “Miss You Much,” and you do love Janet Jackson, and you kinda miss her.
4. You shouldn’t have to come to me. The hilarious awesome goodness should come to you.
3. No matter how you slice it, the word blog still sounds stupid. Email and site feed sound debonair.
2. Subscription is a delightful word. It makes you think of magazines and the smell of cologne samples.
1. Deep down, you just plain care too much.
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Hi. I got new glasses. I’m Brian Urlacher. Love, Addison.
We don’t believe in Halloween. But we do celebrate “free pagan candy and pretend do be something you’re not” . . . ween. Seriously, of all the weens, it’s the best.
Addison dressed up like Charles Darwin.
Addison is 3 now. The big three oh . . . minus the oh. So a drum set seemed like the standard thing to mark his passage from the terrible-two phase and into the throwdown-three stage. What he lacks in rhthym, he makes up for in volume and ingenuity. The drum makers had a specific method in mind when they designed this contraption, but Addison thinks outside the box. Drumsticks are for hitting the bass drum. Fists are for cymbals. Forehead hits another drum, and teeth make a sound on the fake chrome that is absolutely inimitable by any other means.
Don’t worry for us. He doesn’t play it that much. He wants to expand the band. He’s asking for a saxophone. Or a trumpet. Or a tuba. He suggested we get Mommy all of these for her birthday. We settled on the new John Mayer CD, from which I recommend “Gravity,” track 4 and “Dreaming with a Broken Heart,” track something else.
Here’s what we know so far: forced entry was attempted at 10:34 a.m. on 8/8/2006 by a 3-foot-tall, Caucasian male weighing between 25 and 30 pounds. This still from a surveillance video shows the perp right before fleeing the scene. Witnesses allege that he had stacked a wooden chair on top of a bathroom stool, climbed the haphazardly fashioned ladder, and attempted to enter the roof of the pop-up fire engine. The plan failed as the chair toppled from the stool, which Crime Scene Investigators believe bears the name of the suspect. A few crumbs of Cookie Crisp were the only physical evidence found at the scene. No injuries were reported, although the fire engine was impounded pending further investigation and prosecution.
Witnesses with further knowledge about the incident or information regarding the suspect’s whereabouts are encouraged to come forward.
Ethan Hawke, Minnie Driver, and their son, Kylie Monogue?
That’s who the face recognition program at MyHeritage.com says we look like.
You’ve gotta try out this site. You upload images of you (or whomever you want), and it compares your photo to a database of celebrities. It said Heather also looked like Brittany Murphy, Carrie Anne Moss, and Sylvia Plath. Addison looked like a bunch of women, including Beyonce, Rachel Leigh Cook, and Reese Witherspoon. I match up with Dominic Monoghan, Brendan Fraser, J. K. Rowling, and Carson Daly.
So check it out, have fun, and let me know who you look like.
A tale of two haircuts. Okay, this is actually an update that yes, Addison and I both had our hair cut. No, I didn’t cut his, and yes, I did cut mine. Who cares? I don’t know. I suppose you are wondering why I’ve bothered to steal those precious seconds of your life away.
This is a post of firsts. This is the first picture of Addison with his new do. The second picture is the first picture of just the three of us that we’ve taken in a long time. It also marks the first time we got the timer on our camera to work right.
But I also wanted to update you on the fact that anyone can post comments on here now. Some of you had tried and were frustrated by the process. You don’t have to be a member. But I will warn you that it’s common for “anonymous” postings to be placed on here which include links to annoying sites. So if you see a comment from Anonymous that says, “Awesome guys. That site is so great. That’s so informative. Thank you,” do not trust that comment and do not follow the link. It should tip you off that the person didn’t say their name. It should then tip you off even further that the person thinks this site is awesome. The dead giveaway, of course, is that the link is to some free ringtones and pharmeceutical site.
Then again, you’d be wise not to trust anything you read here, just for good measure.